10 Things That Undeniably Let Me know my Child Loves and Respects Me Tenfold

Let me preface by saying that this list could EASILY be more than 10 things. Not to brag, but my child really loves and respects me. I just shaved it down to a few of my favorites. 🤷‍♀️

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What the Hell Happened?

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Y’all. Please. I used to be so cute when I woke up. Bounced out of bed with nary a care, threw my hair in a clip and the only make up I needed was a smile. Adorbs, I tell you!! Now, not only does it take me from bed to kitchen to stand completely upright – the mysterious old lady pains in my hip (YES, HIP) and shoulder (WHY???) that I feel for NO REASON are not nearly as painful as my arch enemy ‘The Mirror’. That b*tch loves to point out my lack of eyebrows (except my gray or steel wool ones) … the sagging lids (like 80 year old boobs hanging from my sparse browage) … huge puffy Louie Vuittons under my eyes (think steamer trunks not small cross body) … thinning hair (is that actually my scalp?) … chins (PLURAL) … whiskers (fun to say, not to see) … wiggy waggy neck skin (looks like a vagina) … the sweats (when all I’m doing is sitting…SITTING) … explained weight gain (okay, that one’s on me) … and all the brown age spots. I see you late 40s 👀.

Albeit blurry without my new bifocals 🙄
Slow your roll.
Slow. Your. Roll. 🤬🤬🤬